To go or not to go
by Robmeister2010
Summary: Penny has taken the decision to go back to Nebraska. But on the last night, with everyone else supposedly joking away and not caring, it falls to Sheldon Cooper as the one to crack and show his true feelings...but what will become of them both?
1. Chapter 1

Sheldon couldn't take it anymore. After an entire evening of everyone joking, he leapt to his feet from his favourite spot.

"She's leaving and you don't even care!" he spat, tears starting to form in his eyes. As everyone looked on shocked, Sheldon stormed to his room, slamming the door behind him.

"I didn't think the news I was going back to Nebraska would be that bad?" asked Penny confused.

"We all agreed we'd have fun tonight, what's wrong with him?" asked Howard, who for once was referring to Penny without an inappropriate innuendo in close vicinity.

"You guys carry on with the food. I'll go talk to him." Said Penny. As the others continued the meal, Penny made her way slowly to the door of Sheldons room.

*knock knock knock*Sheldon *knock knock knock* Sheldon *knock knock knock* Sheldon!

Imitating his knock on her door did nothing to gain a response, so she slowly eased the door open. Peering in, she could see Sheldon curled up on his bed, crying softly.

"Sheldon?" she whispered. No response. Penny eased round the bed, kneeling beside it and reaching out to place her hand on his arm which was covering his face.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked.

"I can't stand it. They don't even care you're going." Sobbed Sheldon after a minute.

"Sheldon, they do care. They just don't want to be upset on my last night so they're being happy. They'll be sad tomorrow when I've gone. Come on Sheldon. Please don't be upset." Whispered Penny.

"Sorry." He muttered, blatently without any meaning to it.

"Sheldon, please don't cry. That's not how I want things to finish tonight. Please sweetie." She whispered, stroking her hand up and down his arm.

"Go out with the others. I just can't deal with that." Said Sheldon, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Why are you so upset? You should be happy. I'm making something of myself. Hey, I won't be using your WIFI!" joked Penny, causing Sheldon to cry even harder.

"Sheldon, please don't cry, you're gonna make me cry, and that won't do us any good atall! Come on sweetie. I don't want us crying on my last night." Said Penny starting to tear up.

"Go out with the others." Said Sheldon between tears.

"I don't want to go out with the others. Not with you in here crying. I didn't realise me leaving would upset you so much. You're a dark horse Sheldon Cooper." Whispered Penny. Climbing onto the bed, she pulled him close to her. For once Sheldon didn't pull away from human contact.


	2. Spending time together

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, favourites and follows for this story. Firstly, I must apologise for the shortness of part 1. It was gone 3 in the morning and I was tired, and I wanted to get something uploaded to get some feedback.**

**I am more of a Scrubs writer, this is the first time I am writing a Big Bang Theory story. Whilst it will be slightly OOC (In the show, Sheldon is with Amy and has never shown any romantic interest in Penny, and Penny has only been allowed in Sheldons bedroom on two occasions, when she upset him by calling Monty a toy robot, and when she woke him up whilst addicted to the game he'd introduced her to), you will have to keep me in check if I go wildly off topic with them.**

**Also, if you could please let me know whether you'd appreciate a flashback and sneak peak (a brief summary of what happened in the previous part, if you're reading one chapter, as I am not uploading them all at the same time, aswell as a sneak peak of what will appear in the next chapter) or whether you'd just like the chapter itself, so that the chapter is fine tuned to what you my readers will enjoy.**

**OK, here goes part two:**

Leonard stood near Sheldons door. The others looked at him, as if waiting for a cue on whether to approach or stay where they were.

"Guys, maybe we should go?" asked Leonard. The others noted that maybe this was a time for Penny and Sheldon to be together, afterall, they would see her tomorrow before she left anyway. They all advanced towards the door and left, leaving the apartment alone. Soon the door opened.

"OK guys, Sheldons here. Let's all…" said Penny before trailing off as she realised they had all left.

"I scared them out of the apartment." Muttered Sheldon sounding slightly guilty as he wiped his face with his sleeve, betraying his normal 100% hygiene demands.

"They obviously realised we needed some time. Come watch some TV with me." Said Penny. She held out her hand, and Sheldon observed it for a moment, almost as if he was trying to calculate whether some horrific tragedy would befall him if he allowed himself to show any kind of vulnerability. Finally he placed his hand in hers and let out a small smile as she squeezed it.

"What do you want to see?" asked Penny as they made their way to the couch, Penny making particular checks to ensure she didn't sit in his spot.

"I'm not at a point to have any particular preference." Shrugged Sheldon. Penny had an idea of what to watch, and two hours passed before they knew it. Finally the movie ended.

"I love that movie. I cry every time. I can't…" said Penny, before turning to look at Sheldon.

"Sheldon! You're crying!" said Penny in surprise.

"They put Marley to sleep!" said Sheldon choking up.

"I thought it was just me that cried at that film. Aww sweetie!" smiled Penny moving in closer to Sheldon. She half expected Sheldon to leap off the couch, regaining his hatred for human physical contact. Instead she was surprised to note that he not only stayed where he was, but moved slightly closer to her.

"Can't we watch something that's not going to have us bawling our eyes out?" asked Sheldon.

"Sheldon, there's nothing wrong with crying you know. It shows you're not the emotionless robot that you come across as being sometimes." Said Penny.

"It shows vulnerability. I hate that." Muttered Sheldon.

"Well I love it. It's sweet. Sheldon…I want you to know how much you mean to me." Said Penny.

"Oh no, we're not having THAT conversation are we? I'm not sure I can cry anymore in one night." Said Sheldon. Penny observed Sheldon thinking, imagining he was calculating the chemical formula for how much tear production his body could produce in a short period of time.

"Sheldon?" she whispered, pulling Sheldon from his thoughts.

"Shall we watch something else?" asked Sheldon hopefully.

"Sheldon, stop changing the subject. This is important. I want you to know that you mean a great deal to me." Said Penny. She started to tear up and Sheldon closed his eyes.

"You're crying, which is going to make me cry, this is horrible!" whined Sheldon.

"Hey. Sheldon. Look at me." Said Penny. Sheldon opened his eyes again, taking a moment to focus as his eyes teared up again.

"I don't want you to be ashamed about crying earlier. Or crying now. Or crying anytime. It means a lot to me that I mean a lot to you." Said Penny.

"You mean a lot to me, I mean a lot to you, conversation over." Said Sheldon.

"You hate having these conversations don't you?" asked Penny.

"I hate emotions." Replied Sheldon.

"Well you're getting a hug! Don't look so horrified, I'm not cutting off body parts!" smiled Penny.

"You know how I feel about hugs Penny!" whined Sheldon. Before he could say another word, Penny wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. Sheldon rolled his eyes, but soon relaxed (well as best as Sheldon can in such close physical contact with another human being!) and gingerly put his around her too, leading to a smile appearing on Pennys face.

"I'm gonna miss you Sheldon." She whispered, pulling herself in closer to him.


	3. What's wrong Sheldon?

After a few moments silence Sheldon built up the courage to ask the question that was on his mind.

"Why are you leaving for Nebraska?"

"I have to stop kidding myself. I'm never going to be a successful actress. It's time I went home and did something proper with my time." Said Penny.

"This is your home." Stated Sheldon.

"I've been here all this time and I haven't secured a single acting job." Said Penny.

"Well that's their loss." Said Sheldon. Penny lifted her head up and gazed up at him, as he lowered his to look at hers.

"You're sweet Sheldon. You're a liar. But you're sweet." She smiled.

"Nonsense. You can do anything you put your mind to. I just…" said Sheldon, before trailing off.

"Go on." Urged Penny.

"I just don't see why you have to go. I like you being here." Said Sheldon.

"Are you admitting you like a human being?" joked Penny.

"Hey, I don't sob my eyes out over just anyone you know!" remarked Sheldon. Penny could tell he was a little hurt by her last comment.

"I didn't mean it like that. Sheldon, you're so sweet. And surprising as it may sound for me to say it…but I think you're the one I'm going to miss the most." Said Penny.

"Hey, we have email right?" asked Sheldon, trying his best not to start crying again.

"Sheldon?" she whispered. He just looked straight ahead, gazing out, apparently lost in thought, or perhaps just trying not to think of her imminent departure. Penny moved her hand in front of his face to get his attention back.

"I'm worried about you Sheldon. Are you going to be OK if I go?" asked Penny.

"Oh I'm sure I'll be fine. I just have to stop being such a wuss." Said Sheldon. Penny took a second to take that in. She never thought she would hear him refer to himself as a wuss. But it did nothing to ease the concern she had for him.

"Sheldon what's wrong? Why are you so worried about me going?" she asked.

"I'm not worried. Look, if it's what you've set your heart on then I, or anyone else for that matter, have no right to stand in your way." Said Sheldon.

"You're just saying what you think you should say. Sheldon, be honest with me." Said Penny.

"I'm going to miss you. That's all." Said Sheldon. He closed his eyes as he could feel them start to tear up again.

"Sheldon, don't cry because of me. Come on." Whispered Penny. She lifted her hand up, brushing the tears away from his face. He glanced back down at her.

"I'll be fine." He whispered, in a completely unconvincing tone of voice. She brushed the back of her hand against his cheek.

"Will you?" she whispered. Sheldon gazed straight ahead again. She could tell he wasn't comfortable like this, but she had to pursue it, for both their sakes.

"Sheldon. I can tell you have something troubling you. Please talk to me." Whispered Penny.

"Penny…" he started, before the voices of the other guys could be heard out in the hall. Sheldon quickly got to his feet, casting Penny aside, not able to deal with the crowd, and made his way to his room, leaving Penny on the couch by herself.

"Is everything OK?" asked Leonard as he opened the door.

"Leonard, I'm really worried about Sheldon." Whispered Penny, bursting into tears. Leonard tilted his head to the door, and the others took the hint and left. Leonard sat next to her, close enough to appear friendly, but not too close so she felt enclosed.

"You both seem to be taking this hard." Said Leonard after a short pause.

"I know something is bothering me. But he won't say. He's too afraid to open up. It kills me that I'm doing this to him and I don't know what it is or how to stop it." Sobbed Penny.

"Perhaps if I had a word with him?" suggested Leonard.

"Would you? Please tell him that whatever it is, it's OK. I just want to know why he's so upset. This isn't Sheldon. Something's not right." Said Penny wiping the tears from her eyes.

"You have a few minutes alone. I'll go talk to Sheldon." Said Leonard. Getting to his feet, he examined the crying state of his former girlfriend, and knew that if there was something he could do, then he had to do it. Whatever that was. Letting out a short breath, he made his way to Sheldons door and knocked.

"Sheldon, it's Leonard. Can I come in?"


	4. The revelation

Leonard eased open the door and stepped in, closing it behind him.

"Did Penny send you in here?" asked Sheldon.

"Yeah. She did. She's worried about you. About how hard you're taking this. I said I'd have a word." Said Leonard.

"You don't want to hear the reason Leonard. Trust me." Said Sheldon burying his head in a physics textbook.

"Put the book down Sheldon, you're not reading it." Said Leonard.

"How do you know?" asked Sheldon.

"Well for a start the book is upside down." Said Leonard. Sheldon let out a heavy sigh and dropped the book.

"We're friends Sheldon. You can talk to me. Penny's worried about you. What's wrong?" asked Leonard.

"It's going to get horribly awkward if I tell you." Warned Sheldon.

"Just tell me. Penny is out there in tears, you were crying earlier, this is not normal, it needs fixing. Look, if you don't feel comfortable talking to me will you atleast talk to Penny? She's really worried about you, and this is her last night, she doesn't want to leave with this…whatever it is…up in the air." Said Leonard.

"I don't even know how to tell her Leonard. She'll laugh at me. She'll hate me. She'll probably try and get an earlier departure to get away from me sooner than she originally planned." Said Sheldon.

"Sheldon, that's crazy. Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. Penny loves you." Said Leonard.

"If only." Muttered Sheldon, before realising what he'd said. His eyes opened wide as Leonard suddenly realised what the problem was.

"YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR PENNY?!" shouted Leonard in shock.

"Oh great one genius, she probably heard that!" spat Sheldon. Sure enough, a few seconds later, there was a gentle tap at the door.

"Come in Penny." Said Leonard.

"Come in? Don't tell her to come in, she'll…oh god." Groaned Sheldon as the door opened slightly and Penny leaned her head round.

"I'll leave you two to it." Said Leonard.

"Oh that's typical of your work that is, make a mess and leave someone else to clear it up." Muttered Sheldon.

"Don't get mad at me Sheldon. Talk to her. Deal with this in whatever way you need to. I'm going to bed." Said Leonard. With a quick smile to Penny, she let him past before stepping in and closing the door behind her.

"That's why you're so upset?" whispered Penny.

"I really don't want to talk about this." Said Sheldon.

"You have to. We have to. You can't just drop that bombshell on me and expect me not to say anything." Said Penny.

"Fine. Yell at me. Tell me I'm stupid. Get it over with." Said Sheldon.

"I'm not going to yell at you. I just…I don't understand. Why…how…why…?" asked Penny trying to make sense of what had just been revealed.

"Alright, if we're going to do this, sit down and let's get it done as quickly and as painlessly as possible." Said Sheldon. Without another word Penny sat beside him on the bed. Sheldon looked her right in the eyes. Penny bit her lip. His beautiful blue eyes made her feel lost.

"Sheldon…" she started, before finding herself unable to complete what she was going to say.

"I…am experiencing…feelings. For you." Said Sheldon. The giant sigh afterwards told Penny that he was both relieved he'd said it, but still troubled by it.

"I'm not sure how to deal with that. I think I need to be alone." Said Penny. Getting to her feet, Sheldon made no attempt to stop her as she made her way to the door. As the door closed, Sheldon slumped back onto the bed.

"Have I just done the most stupid thing a genius scientist could?" he asked himself.


	5. How will Penny react?

**A/N Thanks for the feedback on the previous chapters, glad to know you're enjoying the story. Stock2007, thanks for your feedback, they are more like real people than in the show, but that may be due to the fact that I can do what I like in the story. Remember that every TV show has a boss ready to wield the axe if ratings go down, so to some degree the characters have to be shown as odd so that more people watch the show.**

Penny entered her apartment and went straight to her room. Collapsing onto the bed she sighed to herself. After a few minutes she managed to drift off to sleep.

"Ugh!" she groaned as her alarm clock went off, alerting her to the fact it was 9.00 am. She felt like she hadn't slept that well, and instantly started thinking of the events of the previous evening. An hour passed, and she was showered, and starting to get a few things packed.

*knock knock knock* Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!

A smile spread over Penny's face, she couldn't help herself. She made her way to the door, pausing, before opening it.

"Penny. I know you're busy. I just wanted to take this opportunity to say I'm sorry." Said Sheldon. Penny was about to reply, when she caught the unmistakable smell of alcohol. Penny stepped back slightly and took a closer look. Sheldon was not his normal tidy self. His clothes were dishevelled, and he was gripping onto the doorframe as if he would fall over upon letting go.

"Sheldon? Are you…drunk?" asked Penny.

"I am not drunk. I am merely into…intox…int…" said Sheldon, struggling to say the word.

"Intoxicated." Said Penny, to which Sheldon nodded.

"It's 10.00 in the morning Sheldon. Since when did you drink anyway?" asked Penny.

"I just felt terrible about last night." Said Sheldon, who now had a glazed expression in his eyes, as if he couldn't quite focus.

"You've been drinking all night because of what happened? Sheldon no! Oh, come in!" said Penny. She reached out and grabbed his arm, causing him to stumble against her. After a moment he allowed her to steer him to the couch, where he fell rather unattractively headfirst into the couch cushion. Penny couldn't help but smile as she saw his butt wriggling from side to side, before shaking the vision from her head and helping him to sit properly.

"I'm stopping you packing. I must go!" said Sheldon trying to get to his feet. Penny put her hand out, pushing him back down into the couch.

"Sheldon, I can't believe you've done this to yourself. All because of me. Sheldon…" she sighed, noticing him slump flat across the couch.

"Pack Penny. You must pack." Slurred Sheldon half asleep.

"I'm not packing sweetie. You can use my blanket." She whispered, pulling the blanket over him as he gradually fell fast asleep. Kneeling down she stroked her hand across his face.

"I can't do this." She whispered to herself, and left the apartment. It was mid afternoon when Sheldon awoke, a dull ache reminding him of his drunken consumption the night before.

"Penny?" he called out, pulling the blanket off him. No response.

"She went without saying goodbye." He whispered sadly to himself. A quick glance round though confirmed that a lot of her things were still present, so if she had gone, she had no things to go with. As he got to his feet he made his way to the entrance of her bedroom. The bags were still half unpacked, she clearly wasn't here, but she clearly hadn't left for Nebraska either. He turned as he heard the door unlock and open.

"I thought you'd left." He whispered, whilst trying to rub the pain in his forehead.

"I had a few things to do." Whispered Penny, closing the door.

"I'd better go." Said Sheldon.

"You're not going anywhere Sheldon Cooper." Replied Penny.

"But I don't live here?" asked Sheldon with a confused look on his face.

"Sheldon, I have to tell you something. I need you to listen. Don't interrupt. Just let me say what I need to say." Said Penny.

"Should I sit? This seems like an important topic of conversation?" asked Sheldon. Penny sighed heavily.

"Yes Sheldon. It definitely is." Replied Penny.


	6. Honest Sheldon

Sheldon perched on the edge of her couch and awaited her response.

"Sheldon…I've had my heart broken before by various men. Oh don't you give me that look!" said Penny as Sheldon faked surprise.

"OK, I'm sorry. Go on." Said Sheldon.

"Sheldon, what I'm trying to say is…I can't let myself get my heart broken again." Said Penny.

"Are you suggesting I would do something to upset you? I'm confused." Said Sheldon.

"What I'm saying is…I need to know how you feel. I mean tell me. Don't tell Leonard, tell me. Because let's face it…if Leonard hadn't been so shocked by the news and yelled it out when I was in the living room…I still wouldn't know." Explained Penny.

"You know I hate talking about feelings." Said Sheldon staring down at the floor.

"I need you to look at me and tell me honestly what's going on in that heart of yours." Said Penny.

"Can I atleast turn away so I don't have to watch if you burst into mocking laughter?" asked Sheldon.

"I wouldn't do that. But fair enough, if it makes it easier, turn round." Said Penny. Sheldon turned round…and the door knocked.

"Oh for god…" exclaimed Penny frustratingly making her way to the door.

"What do you want Raj? Raj? Raj, why would you come over here without having a drink, you know you can't talk to me without drink!" said Penny. Raj shook his head, and went back across the hallway to the other apartment. Penny closed the door and turned round.

"Sheldon? Where…Sheldon! Sheldon, I can see you hiding behind the couch!" said Penny. Sheldon lifted his head over the top of the couch and looked at her nervously.

"Why is it so hard for you to talk to me?" asked Penny.

"Penny, I'm not stupid. I know you don't feel the same way about me. Why would you? You're beautiful, you're funny, you could do whatever you wanted in life. You must be stupid if you can't see why I'm reluctant to say how I feel just to get the inevitable event of being shot down." Whispered Sheldon.

"Sheldon, that's crazy!" said Penny.

"I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested!" replied Sheldon.

"Sheldon, everyone has to take a chance in life. How do you even know you'd get shot down? You're a big liar by the way. If I'm so beautiful and funny how come every guy I've ever been out with has treated me like dirt?" asked Penny.

"Maybe because they've been blind to just how special you really are." Whispered Sheldon. Penny could feel she was about to cry.

"Sheldon, please just talk to me. Don't say what you think you should say. Have the courage to be honest with me." Said Penny.

"What is it you want me to say?" asked Sheldon.

"Just say what's in your heart." Replied Penny. There was a short pause.

"Fine. I'll tell you. I think you're beautiful. Ever since I heard you were going my heart has been broken in two. Not literally of course, that's an anatomical impossibility, but you know what I mean. It kills me to think of you going, but in my heart of hearts I know I can't stop you. It's like the famous saying." Said Sheldon.

"What saying?" whispered Penny.

"If you want something very, very badly, let it go free. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with." Replied Sheldon. Penny's eyes started to tear up.

"I'd better let you get on with your packing." Said Sheldon. He made his way to the door, and before she knew it, Penny was alone. Alone with his words in her head.

_If you want something very, very badly, let it go free. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with._


	7. Why must you set me free?

**A/N stock2007, Raj didn't want anything in particular, I just added him in to frustrate Penny and give Sheldon a chance to hide behind the couch, plus reference the fact that Raj can't talk to women without alcohol, I also added in the reference to Sheldon not being crazy because his mother had him tested, to give it a bit of a Big Bang Theory feel, as with the kind of story I've chosen (ie Sheldon is not with Amy, he has feelings for Penny and she may or may not reciprocate those feelings) there is a difference to what you would see on the actual show. To answer your other part of the review, I think the cast do love the job they do. If you've seen the interview where Jim and Mayim interview each other, Jim states during the interview how overwhelming it was when Kaley was hosting an award and he won it. To get given an award by the castmate he'd worked with was something he felt was a once in a career circumstance. To be honest, they also probably love the fact the show is picked up for several seasons as it gives them job security in an area where a lot of fantastic actors are having to get part time jobs to pay rent waiting for another role.**

The day went on and Penny had made very little progress with her packing. Everytime she tried, she would think of leaving Sheldon behind, and start to cry. By mid afternoon it was getting close to when she would have to be getting ready to go. She sat on the end of her bed.

"I wish you were here with me now Sheldon." She whispered to herself. Somehow it didn't seem right packing her stuff. In frustration she kicked a bag, unfortunately it was the wrong back to choose and a selection of shampoo and conditioner split open, making a mess on the floor. She was about to get up when she realised she didn't care. It's not like she owned this place. It was just the carpet. There was no doubt in her mind that Sheldon was special, and she wanted him. But that quote kept playing in her head. She knew Sheldon would be home, and Leonard would be out. This was her chance. Leaving her apartment, she swung the door open across the hall. She observed Sheldon on his laptop, who looked up as the door swung back loudly on its hinges.

"Why?" asked Penny, tears starting to roll down her face.

"What do you mean?" asked Sheldon with a confused look on his face.

"You said to me earlier, that quote, _If you want something very, very badly, let it go free. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with._ Why must I go free?" More tears found their way down the distressed blondes face.

"Penny, you're not making any sense." Said Sheldon. Penny wiped her face and tried to compose herself.

"Why must you set me free and see if I come back to you?" she asked.

"It's a quote. It means not to stand in the way of a person, let them go and if they choose to come back it's their own choice." Said Sheldon.

"You just don't get it do you Sheldon? I don't want to be set free." Said Penny.

"What do you want?" asked Sheldon. Penny sighed, and tears again made their way down her face.

"You Sheldon. You." She sobbed, before turning and running out of the apartment closing the door behind her, before going in and closing her own door, leaving Sheldon alone and lost in thought.

"What do I do? What do I do?" he whispered to himself. First thing was to take the bread out of the toaster, it was turning black as Leonard had once again turned the toaster up too high.

"I need advice." He said out loud to himself. There was only one person who knew what to do in this kind of situation. One person who knew him better than he knew himself. Dialling the number he waited for an answer.

"Hey Shelley!" came a voice. Sheldon let out a long sigh.

"Hi mom."


	8. A mothers help

**A/N stock2007, There is no need to keep quiet, if you have a comment about either the show or the pic then please feel free to put it in the review. Ses1515 thankyou for your comments. I wanted to show Sheldon with emotions in this fic to give the story a bit of a different feel. If it was just a case of Penny going to Nebraska, Sheldon randomly telling her he loved her, and her deciding to stay, then it doesn't have quiet the interesting feel to it I don't think, I'm rather enjoying giving Sheldon some emotions, and exploring the emotional relationship between Sheldon and Penny.**

"So Shelley, what causes you to ring?" asked his mother.

"Mom, I have a situation. I need some advice." Said Sheldon.

"Well of course Shelley. Let me just get out the old faithful big book…" said his mom.

"Oh god, not the bible!" groaned Sheldon.

"Yes Shelley, the bible. The Lord Jesus Christ once said…"

"I don't care! Mom, I need YOUR advice, not the made up nonsense from your book." Said Sheldon.

"Well that's rather unchristian of you Shelley, but I'll overlook it, just as Jesus overlooked the sins of…"

"MOM!" shouted Sheldon.

"Don't you shout at me young man, you're not too old to get put over my knee! Now then…what's this situation you've got yourself into? It's not drugs is it?" Sheldon sighed heavily.

"No mom, it's not drugs."

"Drink?"

"No mom, not drink." Sighed Sheldon. Was this really worth the hassle?

"You haven't succumbed to the evil of gambling Shelley?"

"Mom, for all this hassle, I'm just gonna say, you'd better have some pretty A-rated advice for me when we're done with this!" warned Sheldon.

"Well why don't you try telling me what the problem is and then I might be able to help?" asked his mom.

"Well if I could get a word in edgeways…" suggested Sheldon. There was a long pause. Sheldon supposed she was probably preying for the lords strength not to come to Passadena and clock him round the head with her bible right then and there.

"What's the problem Shelley?" she finally asked.

"I have a situation…with a relationship issue. Mom, stop laughing!" said Sheldon as he listened to his mom erupt in laughter.

"I'm sorry Shelley, you just took me by surprise. Is this a…man…Shelley?" she asked cautiously.

"Of course it's not a man!" said Sheldon.

"If it is, I'm your mother, I'll still love you Shelley no matter what."

"Could you just listen? It's a woman. She's due to leave for Nebraska, but I have feelings for her. I told her, now she's confused, I think she might like me, but am I holding her back?" asked Sheldon.

"Have you asked Penny how she really feels?" asked his mom.

"Penny? Who said it was Penny? It's not Penny!" replied Sheldon, fortunate that this was a phone conversation so she couldn't see the nervous tick indicating he was not being truthful.

"Sheldon, how many girls do you know that used to live in Nebraska?" asked his mom. Sheldon cursed…silently of course, for fear his mom would break open the bible and start preying for his sinful soul.

"Mom…I really like her. Oh what's the use in pretending, I'm head over heels in love with her. But part of me can't help thinking that in wanting her to stay here, I'm denying her the opportunity of being happy in Nebraska." Said Sheldon, his head rested on his hand in a sad state.

"Shelley…if you have told her how you feel…don't you think you atleast owe it to her to allow the possibility in that genius little head of yours that maybe…just maybe…she could be happy right there with you?" asked his mom.

"You really think so?" asked Sheldon with a smile on his face as if he'd just been told Santa really was real.

"Shelley, you'll do your mom a favour. Use protection. I'm too young to be a grandparent."

"OK, thanks for your help!" said Sheldon, before he hung up. He couldn't handle anymore of THAT conversation.

"I can't rely on my mother to deal with this. I'll have to go this one alone." He whispered to himself. He made his way across the hallway.

*knock knock knock* Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!


	9. A mistake made

Sheldon waited for a response, then tried the door handle. Locked. Clearly she didn't want to be disturbed. Sheldon went back to his apartment.

"Sheldon!" said Leonard coming up the stairs as Sheldon reached for the door handle.

"She's locked the door Leonard. She never locks the door when she's there. What have I done?" asked Sheldon entering the apartment.

"Maybe she just needs a bit of time to herself?" suggested Leonard following him in and closing the door.

"Maybe she just popped out?" asked Sheldon hopefully.

"Well she didn't pass me on the stairs so unless she went upstairs onto the roof that's not likely." Said Leonard. Sheldon spent the rest of the day moping about. It wasn't long before Penny was due to depart. Penny had eventually unlocked the door, and one by one the others had said their goodbyes. Sheldon stayed in the apartment though. He couldn't bring himself to go over. He could hear from the commotion outside that Penny was in the hall being cheered away. Leonard opened the door.

"If you don't come out now you're gonna regret it." Said Leonard.

"I'm putting her happiness first Leonard. I'll let her go. It's not meant to be." Said Sheldon. Leonard nodded sympathetically, and closed the door again. Sheldon rested his head on the desk, tears forming in his eyes. Soon she would be gone, he would never get to see that beautiful face. That laugh which irritated him before but now he longed to hear. It all went silent outside. She'd gone, presumably the others leaving at the same time. It was over. He would never see her again. With that thought in his head, he made his way to the kitchen. He looked at the frying pan and imagined Penny making French toast. He looked at the microwave and remembered the time Penny had blown up the popcorn and how long it had taken him to clean it out. Everything reminded him of Penny. An unusual feeling of anger resided in him, due to his own stupidity, and lashing out, he recoiled in pain as his clenched fist bounced back off the wall. Dropping to the floor he burst into tears.

"I love you Penny!" he sobbed. A while later the tears had managed to subside. He glanced down at his hand, which was now turning a strange purple colour. Getting to his feet he grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, grimacing at first as the ice reacted with his now bruised hand, before accepting the coolness as it began to ease the pain. He heard the door open, and turned to see Leonard enter, quickly looking concerned at the ice on his hand.

"You feel better now?" he asked.

"IQ of 187 and still I couldn't work out punching a hard object would hurt." Said Sheldon mockingly.

"Sheldon, I have to be honest with you. I think you've done the wrong thing. Penny's miserable, I could tell despite the fake smile on her face when she went. She was waiting for you to come over and claim her." Said Leonard.

"I can't claim her Leonard, she's not missing luggage." Replied Sheldon.

"You know what I mean Sheldon. I don't think she wanted to go. She was looking for an excuse to stay and you didn't give it to her." Said Leonard.

"I wanted her to stay Leonard. But Penny and I are very different. Who knows if it would have worked, and the last thing I wanted was to see Penny look at me as the reason she's unhappy." Said Sheldon.

"She's unhappy now. She wanted you to man up, tell her to stay…but whatever. It's your decision." Said Leonard.

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved atall. William Shakespeare." Quoted Sheldon.

"It is better to have taken a chance and been turned down than to have not tried and regretted it afterwards. Leonard Hofstadter." Replied Leonard.

"You are quite the poet." Said Sheldon.

"You're quite the idiot." Replied Leonard.

"I see. Tell me Leonard, how IS your relationship going with the invisible woman?" asked Sheldon.

"You're merely transferring frustration onto me that you hold for yourself. Admit it Sheldon…you screwed up." Said Leonard.

"I had no choice. Come on Leonard, you've been out with her, you know what she's like. I wouldn't stand a chance." Said Sheldon.

"So it's not what you think Penny wants, it's more you being afraid. Sheldon, you have to learn in life that you have to take risks. You have to put your heart out there, even if it gets shot down. And I saw the look on Pennys face when she first found out about your feelings. I wouldn't say they were entirely unreciprocated." Said Leonard.

"So you think she feels the same way? Why didn't you tell me that before? It's a bit late now!" said Sheldon.

"It's not too late Sheldon. It's never too late." Said Leonard. He made his way to his room. Sheldon sighed to himself, before glancing up as there was a knock at the door.

"Oh god, who the hell is this bothering me now?" he asked making his way to the door.


	10. A letter home

Sheldon swung the door open.

"Parcel." Smiled the courier.

"We have mailboxes in the lobby." Said Sheldon.

"It needs a signature." He replied.

"Very well." Shrugged Sheldon. Pulling a pen from his pocket he scribbled on the couriers pad, making sure not to allow his hand to rest on the germ infested paper, and took the parcel. Tearing it open, he smiled.

"My Star Trek costume. This will be brilliant at comic con." He grinned. Slowly the grin fell from his face. His mind fell back to last Comic Con, when Leonard had gone on his own, leaving Sheldon stuck at home and unable to get there. Penny had stopped what she was doing and taken him. Penny.

"I wish you were here…" he whispered to himself, a little startled by his own admission. But it was true. A few days passed, and then one morning Sheldon did his usual trip to the mailbox.

"Bill, bill, some ridiculous thing Leonard has ordered, bill, letter…" Sheldon paused. It had his name on the envelope, so he knew he could open it. But it wasn't that that had stopped him. It was the handwriting. Penny's handwriting. Placing it softly in his back pocket, he climbed the stairs in a daze, making it back through the door.

"Oh is that the mail?" asked Leonard.

"No it's a herd of elephants." Said Sheldon.

"You're getting good at sarcasm, I liked that one." Grinned Leonard. He paused for a second.

"Are you OK?" he asked, noticing the glazed expression on his face.

"I have to go to my room." Replied Sheldon, walking past him.

"I don't know what I'm more concerned about. The fact that Sheldon is acting weird or the fact I'm surprised by it." He muttered to himself. Once in the sanctity of his room, Sheldon sat on the edge of his bed. He pulled the letter out from his pocket. He glanced again at her handwriting, rolling her eyes at the fact she had dotted her eyes with a little heart.

"With hearts like that it's a wonder the postman knew what the address was." He muttered to himself. Sheldon gazed down at the letter, turning it over and over in his hands, as if by magic the contents would be revealed to him. Finally he let out a sigh and tore open the envelope, A photo dropped into his lap and he picked it up and glanced at it.

"Last New Years." He observed. He glanced at the unimpressed look on his face in the photo, he had been quite happily drinking a soda whilst the other people at the party had been getting drunk and dancing when Penny had violated his no touching policy by kissing him on the cheek and taking a photo.

"Deleted the picture my ass." He muttered to himself, in reference to the promise he had forced Penny to make that she would get rid of the photo from her camera. He pulled the letter from the envelope holding it gently in his lap. Letting out another sigh, he opened it and started to read.

_Dear Sheldon,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I have started to settle in at Nebraska. Though maybe you don't care about that._

_Sheldon, I was upset that you didn't take the opportunity to say goodbye to me. I know you were upset when I first revealed I was going. Yet as nice as the other goodbyes were, it was yours I wished for and yours that never came._

_I hope that you will be OK there Sheldon. I do worry about you. I saw the look on your face when you first found out the news. You can't pretend to me that you didn't care, and yet you seemed to accept it. The last thing I wanted was a big scene, but it left me hurt that you didn't say goodbye._

_I wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours. Maybe you just didn't want an emotional scene. I know you don't like emotions, that it makes you uncomfortable. I found myself wondering if you cared about me, but I quickly erased that from my head. I know you do Sheldon._

_I'm back in my parents place, mom is driving me a little crazy. If only she was like yours and got me tested huh Sheldon?_

_Sheldon, I'm going to be honest with you. I find myself laying here writing this, and thinking of you. Do you think of me Sheldon? I hope so. I find myself here wishing that you were here. That I could see that goofy grin of yours. I looked out of the window last night and saw some stars in the sky brighter than anything I had ever seen. I forgot myself for a moment, and went to ask you what they were. Then I realised you weren't here._

_Sheldon, it breaks my heart that we never got to say goodbye. I wish now I had pushed open your door and demanded to see you. Maybe that's not what you would have wanted. But it's what I wanted Sheldon. I wish deep in my heart that it is what you wanted too. But I didn't take the opportunity. And my heart wrenches at the thought._

_I have included a photo with this letter. I know you won't be happy, I promised you I would get rid of that photo. But I didn't. Now I can't. It's a reminder for me of happier times. You and me together. Not separated as we are now. I miss you Sheldon. Take care of yourself._

_All my love,_

_Penny._


	11. Another letter home

**A/N Thanks for the reviews about the previous chapter, I thought a few of you would like Penny's letter. I know you want Sheldon to go to Nebraska, or to write back. This is Sheldon Cooper though. Nothing is quite that simple…**

A week had passed. Sheldon had found himself daydreaming constantly about Penny. His work had deteriorated to the point if he became any less productive President Siebert would be terminating his employment at the University. Whenever he attempted to do some work on an equation, his mind would drift back to Penny's letter. He thought about replying, but he could never get the words right. He made his way to the mailbox and collected the mail. Another bill, a leaflet, his copy of Scientists Weekly. He sighed. Another letter. He recognised the handwriting straight away. He quickly hid the letter in his pocket as he heard Leonard coming down the stairs.

"Hey Sheldon. Is there anything for me?" he asked. Sheldon shook his head.

"Alright buddy. I'm off to borrow a friends lab, I will probably be back late tonight." Said Leonard. He exited the building. Sheldon made his way up to the apartment. He cast a sad glance across the hall. She should be there. But she wasn't. It was his own stupid fault for not manning up and stopping her from leaving. He knew she would probably make a life for herself in Nebraska, but a large part of him, albeit a selfish one by his own considerations, wanted her here. With him. As he entered the apartment and closed the door, he retreated to his room. Sitting on the end of his bed as the door closed, he tore open the envelope quicker than last time, another photo falling out. He lifted it up and looked at it.

"Did she delete ANY of the pictures I asked her to?" he whispered to himself. It was a picture of later on that same New Years party, when she had broken the sacred rule of going into his bedroom and taken a photo of him whilst listening to a Richard Feynman lecture on his noise cancelling headphones, hoping to drown out the noise of the party. As he lifted up the envelope another photo dropped out.

"You're in my spot!" he whispered looking at it to see Penny with a mischievous grin on her face taking a photo of herself laying across the couch. Another letter was in the envelope. Reaching over to open his drawer, he placed the photos in with the previous one she had sent, and closing the drawer, she sighed slightly before opening the letter.

_Dear Sheldon,_

_I hope I didn't upset you with my last letter. I had hoped you would reply, but perhaps that was just my selfish heart expecting too much. I know I hurt you by leaving. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me._

_As I lay here writing this, I can see the moon in its entirety. I tried to make a noise like a werewolf but it made me cry. It made me think of the long reply you would give me about how people don't really turn into werewolves when there is a full moon. Sheldon, I would give anything to hear that lecture right now. Before I would roll my eyes and put it down to it just being you. But now I find myself craving it. A craving that will go on unsatisfied. Much like my heart right now._

_I hope I don't make you uncomfortable by writing so openly to you like this. Part of me wishes I had done this face to face. I know you would have got uncomfortable, but atleast I would be there to know that you understood what I was saying. I have so much to tell you Sheldon, I just don't know how much I can bring myself to tell you before my heart completely breaks._

_I wish you were here with me right now. A selfish part of me wishes that you would have turned up here the first night. I lay here all night, on a perfectly comfortable bed, and yet I didn't manage to sleep atall. I found myself thinking of you Sheldon. Wishing that you were here to tell me I had made a mistake, that you wanted me, that I had to come home for both our sakes._

_I suspect you think you have done the right thing by letting me come here. Sheldon, let me be brutally honest with you. You haven't. I wish you'd stopped me, made me see sense. I know that one look of your beautiful blue eyes and I would have thrown my arms around you and regardless of your protests pressed my lips against yours wantingly._

_I am growing hot writing this. My mind is running away with me to a certain extent. You must indulge me Sheldon, I just want you to know how I feel._

_Nebraska is quiet compared to Pasadena. Too quiet. It gives me too much time to think. Think of you. Of us. Of what could have been if I'd just not been so stupid. If you are wondering whether I regret coming here, I do. I wish I had stayed. I suppose a part of me is thankful though, as strange as that sounds. Had I have never planned to leave I would never have been aware of your feelings. I never would have been aware of my own feelings. Oh Sheldon. I so wish you were here._

_Sheldon, I would like to ask you a favour. Would you send me a photo of you? Something that I can keep with me, to stop me going insane. It's not the best thing, that would be you here in person. But atleast I would feel like I had a part of you. Something to hold close to me as I try in this crazy situation to get some sleep._

_As I write this, a small thought flickers into my brain. I hope you don't mind me writing. I don't think you would. But I have been so stupid, it wouldn't surprise me if I was doing another stupid thing._

_I suppose part of me should tell myself to get a grip, that I am here, you are there, and I should move on. Sheldon, I have to be honest with you. I can't. My heart just won't let me._

_God how I wish you were._

_All my love,_

_Penny._


	12. Sheldon writes back

**A/N Thanks for the reviews. There seems to be a balance between some of you wanting Sheldon to write to her, and some of you just wanting him to man up and go to Nebraska. Firstly, Sheldon would tell you that you can't claim a person, they are not missing luggage, and secondly, this is Sheldon Cooper, the most socially inept person since forever. Will Sheldon ever go to Nebraska? Maybe, maybe not. I'm a cruel writer. You will have to wait and see! ;) Ses1515, as you say, nothing is ever easy with Shenny!**

Sheldon grabbed his notebook. He knew he couldn't wait any longer.

"I will be honest with you Penny. Please don't hate me for this." He whispered to himself. He started to write what was in his heart.

_Dear Penny,_

_I apologise for taking so long to write. It is so difficult for me to write about emotions, as you well know I am not the most socially adept person. Yes, you can stop laughing now. Especially since I am not there to hear it. I do like your laugh I must admit._

_Penny, I have to apologise if I upset you for not coming over when you were leaving. Part of me so desperately wanted to. I will try, in my own way, to explain things._

_I have always been a quiet individual. I have not understood the social protocol that most people learn at a young age. I have never seen the point of engaging in relationships, both platonic and romantic. It has taken me so long to become friends with people, and now we have this situation between us._

_Don't take this the wrong way Penny, but it scares me. I am not used to experiencing things I am unable to control. I have become so proficient in Science that nothing in that scares me anymore. The hardest equations and formulae are easy to solve, although sometimes admittedly it takes time._

_Feelings are an alien concept to me. I am not sure about them, about what to do, how to express them, and how to put them into action._

_I am somewhat envious of you in that regard. You know what you want, and you can get it. I would never imagine a situation where you would not be able to express your feelings to anyone who you cared to honour with your affections. I wish I had that ability. I wish I wasn't quite so…me._

_When you left for Nebraska, I felt something I hadn't felt since my childhood. After careful consideration, I was able to deduce it was a sense of loss. When I was young I had a dog, probably the only thing I was able to express real affection for. When it died it nearly killed me too, atleast emotionally. But when you left for Nebraska, the pain I expressed for my dog paled into insignificance._

_I told myself I was doing the right thing, that I didn't deserve you, and I didn't have the right to stop you going to Nebraska. Reading your last letter, it kills me to hear that you are upset, and that you have regret over your move. I just did what I thought was right Penny. I now realise I was…and as shocking as this is to you I'm sure…wrong!_

_Penny, the thoughts I have about you both scare and exhilarate me at the same time. I must do something about it, I think President Siebert is getting to the end of his patience. I handed in a paper with so many basic errors he asked me if I had taken up drinking at work. Drinking! How scandalous!_

_I hope I have gone some way to explaining things, I know it's not much, but as you know I am not used to social protocol, and as much as this situation kills me, if I lost contact with you altogether, it would be more upsetting than when Dumbledore died in Harry Potter. If you know anything of me Penny, you know just how much upset that means._

_I will try and write again soon, if you wish me to do so. Keep that smile on your face Penny. The last thing I want is for you to be miserable._

_Sheldon._

Sheldon sighed and rubbed his eyes, emotionally exhausted after what for him was a testing letter. The next day he found an envelope, and placed it in the postbox just outside their apartment complex. Now all he had to do was wait and see if she replied.

"Hey Sheldon, posting a letter?" asked Leonard coming up behind him.

"Yeah. It was an overdue one." Said Sheldon.

"It wasn't a library fine was it? I had one of those." Said Leonard. Sheldon rolled his eyes.

"I have an eidetic memory. I wouldn't forget a borrowing from the library." Said Sheldon.

"Really? Because you forgot to put shoes on." Said Leonard. Sheldon glanced down to see his Star Wars socks. He'd been lost in thoughts of a Nebraskan female.

"I wanted my feet to breathe." Said Sheldon.

"Eye twitch." Smirked Leonard.

"Shut up!" hissed Sheldon. He turned his back on him and walked inside.

"Ouch!" moaned Leonard as Sheldon suddenly paused, causing him to crash into him. A woman walked past them.

"It's polite to let women go first." Said Sheldon. His eye twitched again and he climbed the stairs. Leonard knew the real reason he'd stopped so suddenly. The woman did not look totally unlike a former neighbour across the hall.


	13. Where is my photo?

A few days later Sheldon went to collect the mail. There was a single letter. Glancing at the handwriting, he knew instantly it was hers. He hid it in his pocket and returned to the apartment.

"Any mail?" asked Leonard yawning as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Nope!" replied Sheldon. The letter was between him and Penny. He didn't want anyone, especially Leonard, knowing about it. Going to his usual reading place, his bedroom, he closed the door and ripped it open. A photo fell out.

"Did you run out of New Years ones?" he asked with a small smile. It was a brand new one, it looked only a couple of days old, Penny sat on her bed smiling. Smiling for him, he decided. As he pulled the letter out of the envelope he placed the photo in his drawer with the others. He concentrated on the letter, and he opened it.

_My dearest Sheldon,_

_Do you have any idea how excited I was when I got your letter? I squealed like a little teenager, my mom looked at me as if I was crazy (she never had be tested like yours did!) but I didn't care. It made my entire time I've spent here suddenly worthwhile just to recognise your handwriting on the envelope._

_Firstly, I must chastise you a little Sheldon. Where was my photo I asked for? I know you have a camera, I bought you one last Christmas, it was a Star Trek one and had the Starship Enterprise badge next to the lens. You are holding out on me Sheldon Cooper, and I do not like it. I had hoped to have a picture of you to hold in my hand as I go to sleep tonight. It's the next best thing to having you here, so if you can't be here in person, you had better make sure the next time you write to me that you are here in picture form!_

_I suppose I am being a little selfish, asking you to write to me again. Sheldon, I am not sure how honest I should be. I am a little frightened that I will scare you away if I am completely honest. A part of me wants to tell you everything, but I'm not there to help you understand what I mean, and to make sure you don't panic and run away. Never run away from me Sheldon. I couldn't bear it._

_Tonight the sky is quite clear. I can see the stars, and I find myself once again thinking of you. Sheldon, I'm not sure I can take much more of this. I'm starting to realise I made a horrific mistake leaving. I wish I was there right now Sheldon. I would sit in your spot, forcing you to approach me with that angry look of yours, knowing what I could do to take that look away from you. Oh Sheldon, I'm quite hot thinking about it!_

_I, unlike you, remembered the photo. I took it earlier this evening. I knew you wouldn't appreciate too many more of the New Years party. I hope you like it. I hope it also inspires you to take that photo I asked for. Please Sheldon…I so desperately need to see your face._

_As I continue to write I think about what an affect you are having upon me. I have never been able to say to anyone those three little words everyone wants to hear: I love you. Sheldon Cooper, I find myself wanting to say them to you. It's come so sudden, so unexpected, but it's true. I love you Sheldon Cooper._

_I hope you haven't collapsed in shock at my revelation and failed to read the rest of this letter. I just needed to be honest with you. I know you probably weren't expecting me to say it, I didn't expect myself to be saying it before that dreadful mistake I announced I was leaving. Sheldon, I will not lie to you…I will not write Bazinga at the end of this paragraph and make you feel silly for believing I meant it. I do. I want you to know that Sheldon. I ask again, send me that photo. Take one wearing that Flash shirt of yours. I always did find you particularly cute in that._

_Sheldon, I must tell you something of upmost importance. You have not, and never will, lose me. You seemed so concerned in your last letter. Take that feeling and throw it away Sheldon. I love you. I will never leave you._

_I found a poem today Sheldon. I would like to share it with you. I would like to think of it as "Our Poem":_

_When the stars come out twinkling, I'll be thinking of you_

_When the sun sweeps the sky clean, yes I'll be thinking of you_

_When the wind caresses my skin, you will be the one on my mind_

_When the rain drop touches my face, yes you will be the one on my mind_

_You came in my life and showed me a new me..._

_You made me see the things that I could never see_

_You are constantly present in my every thought_

_As soon as I first discovered it, I knew it matched my feelings for you so much. You are constantly present in my every thought. You are my one, my all, my everything Sheldon. Keep yourself safe, and don't forget that photo Sheldon. MY Sheldon._

_With you always in my heart and thoughts,_

_All my love,_

_Penny. X_

Sheldon dropped the letter on the bed and fought back tears. God how he missed her! HIS Penny!


	14. Penny in Nebraska

Over a week had passed since Pennys last letter and she hadn't received a response. As she sat on the couch in her mothers living room aimlessly flicking through channels, her mother entered, looking surprisingly amused about something.

"Mom?" she asked quizzically.

"Penelope, I was just making dinner…" she said. She paused.

"How exciting mom!" Penny said half sarcastically.

"Where did you get your sense of sarcasm? It's certainly not from when I raised you." Said her mother rolling her eyes.

"Why are you looking so amused mom?" asked Penny glancing back at the TV.

"How are things going with that Sheldon fellow?" she asked sitting next to Penny. Pennys face turned into a sad expression.

"I wrote to him over a week ago. He hasn't responded. I guess he came to his senses and realised I wasn't worth it." Said Penny.

"Oh Penelope. That's very sad. Don't you think you should wait for him to tell you that before you jump to conclusions?" asked her mother.

"Mom, I had my chance and I wasted it. I should have taken him in my arms and told him how I felt. Infact I never should have come back here." Said Penny bluntly.

"Well I do love having you here. But you've been sad ever since you got here. I kind of had a feeling you felt you'd made the wrong decision." Said her mother.

"I don't regret making the decision. I wouldn't have known how he felt. I wouldn't have known how I felt. It was only by deciding to leave that I found that out." Said Penny.

"So why are you giving up on him so easily?" asked her mother.

"I'm not giving up on him. I'm just realising that I've lost my chance. Besides, Sheldon is a genius. He deserves someone who matches his intelligence. Not some waitress and failed actress." Sighed Penny.

"Penelope, you really think he feels like that? Would he have declared those feelings for you if he did? He knows you're not a scientist. He fell in love with you because of who you are, not what you think he wants you to be. Darlin', love doesn't come along very often. Sometimes you have to fight for it." Said her mother.

"You couldn't have told me this when I was still in Pasadena?" asked Penny.

"I wasn't entirely sure how you felt about each other at the time. I know he really loves you. Come on, put on a happy face Penelope." Said her mother.

"I don't feel like putting on a happy face because I'm not happy mom. I love that guy. I was too stupid to tell him and now it looks like I've lost my chance." Said Penny. She turned her attention back to flicking channels.

"We have a guest. Shall I send them away?" asked her mother.

"It can't be a guest for me, hardly anyone knows I'm here. It must be someone for you." Muttered Penny.

"Well Penelope, if you think that you're mistaken. Maybe I'll just tell the guest you're not polite enough to see them after such a long journey?" asked her mother.

"God mom, don't hassle me, I don't feel like talking to anyone, that doesn't make me impolite!" cried Penny flicking through the channels with more frustration than before.

"I'll send them in. I'm sure you'll want to talk to them." Said her mother rising to her feet. She left the room.

"Great. Some Nebraskan jerk she's matchmaking me with no doubt." Muttered Penny.

"Would you not like a nice Nebraskan male?" asked a fairly deep voice from behind her. It sounded like a fake voice and Penny rolled her eyes.

"Whoever you are, I'm not interested. I'm in love with someone else." Said Penny keeping her attention focused on the TV.

"He's a lucky guy then." Said the fake deep voice.

"That has to be the worst fake voice I've heard. Are you some weirdo? What do you want?" asked Penny finding a nice channel at last. She dropped the remote in shock as the voice behind her turned natural and whispered in her ear:

"You're in my spot."


	15. Sheldon leaves disappointed

Penny jumped off the couch and spun round.

"Sheldon? Is it…is it you? Am I dreaming?" she asked. Sheldon smiled, walked around the couch, and placed a hand on her arm. Penny gasped.

"You're here. You're really here!" she said softly.

"Apparently so." He smiled.

"Why?" asked Penny looking at him intensely.

"Why?" asked Sheldon looking confused.

"I need to know." Said Penny.

"You said in your letters the best thing would be for me to be here. Here I am." Said Sheldon.

"Here you are." Replied Penny.

"You don't seem too happy about it. Have I upset you by coming?" asked Sheldon.

"I can't quite believe you're here. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up all alone." Said Penny.

"I'm really here Penny. I took the train. That's why it's taken me a while to get here." Said Sheldon.

"I thought you'd come to your senses. Realised you needed someone on your wave length." Said Penny.

"My senses? Penny I have come an awful long way for this cold reception. Did you not want me here?" asked Sheldon looking disappointed.

"I need to know why you're here." Said Penny.

"I'm not sure right now. I thought you'd be pleased. I guess not." Said Sheldon. He started to make his way to the front door.

"Darlin'? Are you leaving?" asked Pennys mom from the kitchen.

"It looks like it." Said Sheldon softly. He opened the door and walked through, closing it behind him.

"Penelope?" her mum called making her way into the living room.

"Was he here? Was he really here?" asked Penny.

"Not anymore he's not. I don't know what you said to him but he's gone." Said her mother.

"No! No he can't have gone! Not now! I need to know why he's here!" said Penny.

"Well didn't you ask him instead of letting him walk out of here? He told me when he arrived he'd come from Pasadena on the train. That's a long way to come for a few seconds chat." Said her mother.

"I've lost him again. I just wanted to know why he was here? Was he here for me? Was he going to tell me to stop writing? Oh god, he's gone!" said Penny, her eyes tearing up.

"He didn't look like an athletic fellow. You might want to try catching up to him." Said her mother. Without another word Penny ran from the room past her mother and out the front door.

"SHELDON!" she yelled out trying to see where he'd gone.

"Oh now you acknowledge me." Came a voice. She looked across the road to see him sitting on a bench. She hurried across to him.

"Sheldon, I was shocked when you got here. I want to know why you're here. Is it to tell me to stop writing?" asked Penny. Sheldon scoffed.

"Penny, if I wanted you to stop writing do you think I would have come all the way here in person? I came here to…well it doesn't matter. You clearly don't want me here." Said Sheldon.

"Came here to what? Sheldon tell me. If it's what I think it is…tell me!" she pleaded.

"I came here to tell you that I love you. And that I want you to come home with me. But it doesn't seem like there's any point. I've met strangers who have been more pleased by my presence than you right now." Said Sheldon.

"You came here for me? You really did?" she asked.

"Why else would I come to Nebraska?" he asked.

"Say it. Say it again." Said Penny.

"Say what?" asked Sheldon.

"Say that you love me. That you want me. That I'm not crazy in thinking that we could work. Say it." Said Penny.

"Penny, I realise it's a shock to you me coming here…I thought you'd changed your mind? You were so cold." Said Sheldon.

"Not cold Sheldon. Shocked. Confused. Hoping. Preying. Say it Sheldon. I need to hear it." Said Penny. Sheldon got to his feet and closed the small distance between them.

"I love you Penny."


	16. Finally together

There was a long pause. Sheldon shifted uneasily on his feet. Suddenly his eyes shot up. Penny was crying. Sobbing. Right in front of him!

"Penny? Penny what's wrong?" he asked concerned.

"Sheldon I love you!" she sobbed throwing her arms around him.

"That's something to cry about?" he asked.

"I'm just so happy." She sobbed.

"Oh of course. Women and their hormones." Said Sheldon rolling his eyes.

"Oh yeah? Well let me tell you something Sheldon Cooper. That woman and her hormones you're referring to is never letting you go again. I love you Sheldon." She said trying to steady her sobs.

"There there." Said Sheldon patting her on the back. Penny leaned back and looked at him, tears still running down her face.

"You think you're going to get away with that? I want a kiss Dr Cooper!" said Penny.

"Penny no!" cried Sheldon.

"Sheldon yes!" replied Penny.

"Penny, think of the germs! Penny st…" said Sheldon before being silenced by her lips pressing against his passionately. For a moment he stood there frozen, before making an effort to match what she was doing with her lips with his own. After what seemed like an eternity Sheldon pulled back.

"Can't breathe!" he gasped. Penny steadied herself and smiled.

"Sweetie, you're supposed to keep breathing when you kiss someone." Said Penny.

"How would I know that? I've never had a kiss longer than a couple of seconds with family members!" said Sheldon.

"I know sweetie. But don't worry. I'll teach you. I'm sure you will be a very quick and hard working student." She smiled. Sheldon nuzzled her nose with his own.

"What are you doing?" she asked curiously.

"Nuzzling noses. It's how Eskimos kiss. I thought it would be romantic. Give me a break Penny, I'm new to all this!" said Sheldon.

"My little Eskimo." She grinned back at him.

"I don't like seeing you cry." He said tenderly moving a hand across her cheeks to remove the drying years.

"I'm emotional. I'm a woman. You may not think you are romantic Sheldon…but you came here. You came here for me. I will never forget that." Said Penny.

"I won't either. A homeless guy spat at me when I didn't have any change." Said Sheldon.

"Way to ruin the moment Sheldon." Said Penny pulling a face.

"Sorry Penny. Hey…it looks like we have an audience." Said Sheldon. Penny turned her head round and saw her mother standing at the door across the road grinning back at them.

"Who knows Sheldon…that could be your mother in law one day." Said Penny. She felt him go limp and turned round just as he thudded down onto the pavement.

"Sheldon, I said _one day_!" giggled Penny as Sheldon looked faint.

"I'm not ready for marriage Penny!" he said looking up at her truthfully. Penny bent down and caressed his face with her hands.

"Like I said Sheldon…_one day_. Right now, I want you to come to my home and have a decent meal. I bet you didn't eat anything on the train did you?" she asked.

"Penny, are you joking? Who knows _what_ came into contact with the food on there?" he asked.

"My mom will make you something. Then I want you to come and sit by the window in my room and explain all the stars in the sky just liked I hoped you would during my letters." Said Penny.

"That reminds me. I have something for you." Said Sheldon reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a small envelope and Penny took it. She looked at him curiously and opened it. She pulled out the contents and grinned at him.

"It's about time Sheldon." She grinned holding up the photo of him.

"I thought you'd like it. It's me with my Flash shirt like you asked." He smiled.

"As nice as it is Sheldon…I've got something better than that right in front of me." She smiled nuzzling his nose.

"You like the little Eskimo thing?" he asked.

"It's the nearest you're going to get to me being an Eskimo. I need sun Sheldon, not snow." Smiled Penny.

"In that case, I think we should get inside, I can feel spots of rain." Said Sheldon.

"I would get soaked if it meant being with you." Penny smiled.

"Likewise. Say Penny…do you think your mom could make spaghetti with hot dogs cut up in the sauce?"

"I'll tell her. When we get back home I'm going to make you whatever you like from now on." Smiled Penny. Right then, they knew they would be together forever.


End file.
